A Few Simple Lyrics
by xofalling2deep
Summary: [Sharpaycentric] Sharpay's cold exterior has finally succeeded in keeping everyone out, but it comes at a price. When even her brother has given up on her, Troy makes it his mission to fix the girl that he had broken.
1. The Audition

_Wow, inspiration comes at the weirdest moment. I'm listening to the songs on my iTunes account and after a while it all kind of disappears into the background. Then, suddenly, I'm actually paying attention to the song and it's Jessica Simpson's I Wanna Love You Forever. Then, I find myself thinking, "Hey! This would make a really good song for a High School Musical fanfic!" **  
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**A/N: **Okay, I have no idea what's going on with fanfiction, but I changed the title of this fanfic and now it's all weird and screwy. So yeah, I deleted it and then re-uploaded it again as a different story. I know that's kinda weird, but whatever. I'll post the first two chapters I originally had up.  
**  
Disclaimer: **No, I don't own High School Musical. If I owned anything, I'd at least like to own Zac and Lucas. But, sadly, I don't. Gosh, life just isn't fair. Oh, and I also don't own the song. I don't own much, do I?

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"Okay, up next are Sharpay and Ryan Evans," Mrs. Darbus called out.

Sharpay hesitated for a moment, then went up to the stage and grabbed the microphone. Ryan was not standing with her. "Mrs. Darbus, Ryan doesn't want to do the musical this time. He's...um...trying something...well, new. Since the singles auditions just ended, can I please just audition alone? There aren't any other pairs left. Don't worry, Kelsi already has the music. Please, Mrs. Darbus, let me audition."

Mrs. Darbus seemed deep in thought. For minutes she didn't respond, but only looked at Sharpay's pleading eyes. "Yes, Sharpay, you can audition solo. This is the only time I'll allow this, so don't think that I'm going soft." That last part she had really said for the other students sitting in the audience. She had previously known about Ryan's change of heart and that he was on a basketball team outside of school. It broke her heart almost as much as it broke Sharpay's, so she allowed it.

Sharpay snapped and suddenly the lights had gone off. She nodded slightly to Kelsi who began playing the song on the piano. She took one breath before beginning to sing.

**"_You set my soul at ease, chased darkness out of view, left your desperate spell on me, Say you feel it too, I know you do,"_** Sharpay began. She was sitting on a stool and looking straight at the audience. Her demeanor during this song was so much different, and everyone noticed it, including Troy. He was sitting there, grasping Gabriella's hand, but looking right into Sharpay's eyes. They were seemingly glazed over and she was staring at a certain spot in the crowd. Sharpay's tone of voice was also completely different. Instead of the louder vocals everyone was used to, her voice was softer and sweeter. The sincerity in her voice made everyone feel like she was singing this for a 'certain someone' and began whispering as she continued singing. _"I've got so much more to give. This can't die, I yearn to live. Pour yourself all over me, and I'll cherish every drop here on my knees."_ Usually, Sharpay would glare at those speaking while she performed, but it was like she hardly noticed it. Mrs. Darbus, fed up with the whispering in the audience, stopped Sharpay and yelled at them to be quiet. She then motioned for her to continue and Kelsi began playing again.

_"I wanna love you forever and this is all I'm asking of you. 10,000 lifetimes together,  
is that so much for you to do? 'Cuz from the moment that I saw your face and felt the fire in your sweet embrace, I swear I knew. I'm gonna love you forever."_ At this point, Sharpay had gotten off of the stool and was looking out at the crowd. Troy was only staring at her. Their eyes locked for a brief moment and memorized flooded his head. He remembered a moment in time when this was his and Sharpay's song. When they had dated at the beginning of high school, Sharpay would often sing this softly in his ears. Unknowingly, he had let go of Gabriella's hand and was staring intently at Sharpay. Gabriella noticed, but never said anything.

_**"My mind fails to understand what my heart tells me to do. And I'd give up all I have just to be with you and that would do. I've always been taught to win and I never thought I'd fall. Be at the mercy of a man, I've never been. Now I only want to be right where you are,"** _Sharpay continued. She began crying as she thought of the same memories Troy had playing in his mind. What happened with Troy was a mystery to the entire school, even Sharpay's brother. No one ever talked about it; they never mentioned the time before Sharpay was an 'Ice Queen'. It was, however, common knowledge that it was actually Troy who made her that way. Neither of them had ever mentioned their 'history' to Gabriella. Even Sharpay felt that it would be too mean to tell Gabriella what had happened between them.

**_"I wanna love you forever and this is all I'm asking of you. 10,000 lifetimes together, is that so much for you to do? 'Cuz from the moment that I saw your face and felt the fire in your sweet embrace, I swear I knew. I'm gonna love you forever."_ **Sharpay ended the song strong; belting the last few lines and holding the last word for a few extra beats. She smiled her first on-stage genuine smile as those in the audience applauded without a glare from Sharpay. Troy was just sitting there in deep thought. He was the only one not clapping. As Sharpay took her final bow, Troy walked up to the stage and kissed her. Everyone gasped and Gabriella ran up to the stage.

"What on earth are you thinking, Troy?" Gabriella said to Troy as she backhanded him across the face.

"To be honest, I'm not sure myself," he sheepishly replied. This whole time, Sharpay was just standing there utterly shocked. "Listen, Gabi, there's something I need to tell you. Can we go outside?" Gabriella nodded, despite her anger at Troy and even Sharpay. "Sharpay, I think you should come too." Reluctantly, Sharpay nodded. She was still reeling from what had occured a few moments ago.

"Get off the stage! I'm holding auditions!" Mrs. Darbus yelled. The three laughed nervously as they walked out of the theater.

Troy opened his mouth to tell Gabriella the story, but Sharpay cut in. "Long story short, Troy and I had been dating at the beginning of high school. It went on for 2 years and 1 month, but then something changed. We both changed, really. He went to play basketball and I dove head-first into the theater with my brother. We separated after that. Anyway, _I Wanna Love You Forever_ was our song. They'd play it at the school dances and we'd be the only ones dancing. Basically everyone knew about it. I had completely forgotten about it. I don't want to come between you two, as shocking as that may sound. I never meant for any weird or awkward feelings to come back from me singing that song. So let's just forget about it, alright?" Gabriella and Troy stood there with their mouths hanging open. They hadn't expected a remark like that from Sharpay of all people. She took this as her cue to leave them alone, so she walked away and out of the school. Sharpay hopped in her car and drove home. In her rearview mirror she could see Troy chasing after her and a distraught Gabriella running behind. Instead of slowing down like her heart told her to, she hit the gas harder and sped away.

She ran into her room and began crying. Stashed behind her many Broadway posters was a secret shelf. Her father had put it in there for her years ago. Inside it was her private diary. After wiping away her tears, she began writing. The finished entry read:

_Dear diary,_

I followed by heart and sang 'I Wanna Love You Forever'. What happened was exactly what I hoped for. Troy came on stage and kissed me. I still felt the same things I had years ago when we were together. I don't know why those feelings won't go away. He's with Gabriella now and I'm supposed to be perfectly fine with that. We've been over for over a year now. It's just that whenever I hear that song, whenever I see him, whenever I think about him...all those feelings come rushing back. I'm so confused. Then, to top it all off, he went outside to tell Gabi the story. She would've broken up with him for it, I could see it in her eyes. I knew how Troy would react; he'd apologize a million times and then beg for forgiveness. Even knowing that, I still refused to ruin it for him and Gabriella. I told her a shortened story and left out the part where we had broken each other's hearts. Then I lied and said I'd forgotten it was our song. They completely fell for my act. I guess I really am that good of an actress. I miss Troy so much. I guess it just wasn't meant to be. That doesn't matter though, because **I really will love him forever.**  


_Love, Sharpay xoxo_

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END


	2. On and On

**A/N:** Well, then, as a response to your _amazing_ reviews and apparent love for the story, I've decided to continue this. I've renamed it to _A Few Simple Lyrics_ because each chapter will have something to do with song lyrics, either it will start out with lyrics, revolve around a song, or something along those lines. Pay attention to the lyrics because they will be important to the chapter. I will write the rest of the story in Sharpay's POV. If it isn't in Sharpay's POV, you'll know.

**Disclaimer: ** I don't own HSM or any songs used in this and future chapters. If I did, Gabriella would not be as perfect as she seems. By the way, I'm not posting the disclaimer up on any other chapters, if you want to see it, look here.

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Two days after the callbacks, Mrs. Darbus still did not have the results. I knew why. Troy and Gabriella did amazing, but she did not want to risk having me leave the drama department. Not after all I did to keep it going without my brother. He came to support me during the callbacks but refused to sing even one note. I admire his spirit, I really do, but it's hurting me greatly. Just another thing I've learned to keep inside. My eyes glanced up and noticed a clock. It read 7:00AM. The theater was silent this early in the morning. Of course it was quiet this early in the morning. No one would want to enter the school this early. No one except me, that is. For some reason, the theater was calling to me. I ran my fingers along the keys of the piano and smiled. Music has always been a huge part of my life. My dad was a musician; my mother saved recordings of him playing various instruments and singing. A single tear dropped from my eye as I remembered my father. He was amazing; always there for Ryan and I. Now our mother is so distant. The loss of our father completely devastated her. They were truly in love. Everyone believes that my only goal in life is to become a Broadway star. The truth? All I want from life is to have a marriage half as happy as my parents'. That would be enough. I sat down at the piano and began to sob. My silent reverie was interrupted by the strumming of a guitar. I looked around, but saw nothing. A voice then echoed through the nearly empty theater. 

**"_When the darkness finds the night  
My heart still beats for you  
In your eyes I see the lie  
What can I do, I'll try my best to walk away  
So I don't have to feel the pain  
It goes on and on, on and on  
And this emptiness I feel goes on and on  
On and on"_**

That voice, that song...it was so familiar, yet I couldn't place who was singing. The tenderness in his voice; the feeling he put into each and every note amazed me. He really felt the song, whoever he was. I sat back and just let the music wash over me.

**"_As I cry myself to sleep I just can't go on  
On and on  
When this love I feel for you is so strong  
On and on, on and on  
Why can't I feel your heartbeat next to mine  
The way it used to be  
I love that purpose that is so right  
I need you to see I try my best to walk away  
But I just can't ignore the pain  
It goes on and on, on and on"_**

The song ended as unexpectedly as it had started. I turned around and saw a figure standing in the shadows. That was who had just serenaded me. The 'normal' Sharpay thing to do would be to have a fit, stomp my feet, and demand an explanation. Instead, I walked over to him and stared into his eyes. The back of the theater was still relatively dark; I couldn't see anything but brilliant blue eyes. "Thank you," I whispered. "That was beautiful. I hope you don't mind me asking, but why exactly were you singing for me?"

"Because I never stopped loving you."

I gasped. Why couldn't I recognize that voice? Now, of course, I did, and it didn't make me feel any better. "Troy? How long were you standing there before you started singing?" My voice went from a soft whisper to a cold, accusatory tone.

"Long enough to see you cry." He wiped away the tears from my eyes.

The simple gesture felt so familiar...it felt so right. "What do you want?" I glared at him. He had to leave now. Gabriella might find out tell everyone. Wait, that shouldn't matter. Everyone hates me already, it wouldn't change anything. The real reason I want him to leave? My heart's in danger. I can't fall for him again; I don't want to set myself up for even more pain.

"I wanted to talk to you." I looked at him. My eyes were full of unsaid questions. He just smiled at me. "Sit down. This could take a while." I did as he said. "Sharpay, I...that song you sang for the auditions...your voice...I can't get it out of my head. I never stopped loving you, not even Gabriella will ever change that. I know that now. It just got to me so much that I called your house this morning to see if I could talk to you. Ryan answered and told me you were already at school. I figured it was as good a time as any to come and talk to you. I don't think I could last any longer without talking to you about it. I'm going insane, Sharpay." He leaned in to kiss me, but I stood up.

"You think you can just come in here, sing me a song, tell me some pre-written speech and then kiss me? You think that will make it all better Troy? I'm over you." That's a lie. "I don't love you anymore, don't you get it? Please, get out of here. Go back to your precious Gabriella and leave me alone."

"You're lying." How'd he know? Am I really that obvious? "I could see it in your eyes when you said you forgot that _I Wanna Love You Forever_ was our song and I can see it in your eyes now. You still love me."

I sighed. He wasn't going to give up without a fight, was he? I wanted to tell him then that I loved him. I wanted to say that I never stopped loving him. I wanted to have him hold me in his arms again and never let go. I wanted to kiss him with the passion I'd been keeping inside. Yet I knew that I couldn't. I realized that kissing him would only lead to problems. The heart I'd worked so hard to repair would be broken into a million pieces yet again. "Troy, I'm letting you be with Gabriella. I'm _letting_ you be happy with her. She's what you wanted, right? What you had said to me one night? Oh yes, I remember. You want someone who doesn't mind that you'd rather play basketball than sing. Just a nice, sweet girl that wasn't too complicated. One that didn't whine so much, didn't care too much about her appearance, and didn't give into what everyone wanted her to be. Well then, you've finally found her. Now you'd rather have me? I find that hard to believe. If you don't mind, I'd rather be alone." He didn't move a single inch. "Fine, if you aren't going to leave, I will."

I stood up and walked away without a single glance toward him again. "Sharpay, please don't leave. I didn't know I'd hurt you. I didn't mean it, any of it. Please, believe me." His voice was almost a whine. Almost. I almost felt bad for him. Almost.

"Troy, I don't care anymore. You did what you had to do. Now I'm doing what I have to do." The slam of the doors cut off anything else he had to say to me. Walking around the school, I began to cry again. My makeup is so ruined. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me anymore. The 'normal' Sharpay would've jumped at the chance to be back with Troy. Isn't that what I'd always dreamed of? Getting back together with Troy. I wanted it when I couldn't have it. The moment it was dangled in front of my face, I threw it away. Why? Oh, yeah, Gabriella. Sweet girl. A disgustingly sweet girl. I walked past the gymnasium and down a flight of stairs. My emotions took over my better judgment and I broke down crying. Troy's song echoed inside my head.

**_I turn around and walk away  
But I'll never escape the pain  
It goes on and on, on and on  
It goes on and on..._**

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A/N:** Well, there's chapter 2! Don't forget to R&R! Sorry it's so short, I promise a longer update will be next! By the way, I had only gotten like 2 reviews out of 57 hits. Seriously, if you want this to continue, you're going to need to review. If you don't care for the story, review and tell me! I just don't want to waste time writing a story you all don't actually read.


	3. Loneliness

**Disclaimer**: See 2nd Chapter.

**A/N:** I was highly disappointed with the amount of reviews I had recieved for the last chapter. It seemed like a lot of people wanted a continuation of this story yet no one bothered to review it. I'm hoping for more reviews on this chapter, otherwise I won't continue with this.

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I slowly awakened from my daze and looked up at a clock. Seven o'clock. Great, I have less than an hour to get fixed up. I don't even know how bad I look; I just know it's bad. Troy upset me again, that's basically all I remember. Maybe that's just all I _want_ to remember. After all, he broke my heart again. The pain was still there, not just from this time, but the first time as well. I promised I would never fall for him again. Who did I make this promise to? Couldn't have been myself; that's just too cliché. No one else is there for me. Well, sure Ryan is, but that's not as true anymore. He's amazing at basketball, I should be proud. Yet I still wish he could come back to me. Suddenly, he's so manly. Gone are his tight, sparkly shirts. Instead he wears jerseys or anything red and white. Disgusting. He's completely different...he's _one of them_. All my life, he's been the only one there for me. Now that's gone. I have no one there anymore. I began humming the song playing in my head. It's completely fitting. Ashlee Simpson. After all she's been through she should've just given up. Then again, I wouldn't have. That's what we have in common. Even when the entire world is against us, which it very well is, we don't care and just go past it. The only problem is we both have no one to lean on anymore. No love to get us through this. No happiness to look back on and nothing else to look forward to. 

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Who will be the one to save me from myself  
Who will be the one who's there  
And not ashamed to see me crawl  
Who's gonna catch me when I fall?_**

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My humming has grown to full-out singing as I find my way to my locker. How I got to that stairwell is beyond me, but I was completely out of it. The mirror in my locker must be deceiving me because I look absolutely horrid. My mascara is running, my hair is a mess, and my eyes are red and puffy. I nearly shudder at the sight of myself. I look almost like...everyone else. That just can't happen. Not when they think I'm completely content. The next lyrics in the song are completely perfect. 

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It may seem I have everything,  
But everything means nothing  
When the ride that you've been on  
That you're coming off  
Leaves you feeling lost.

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_**

Brush and makeup kit in hand, I headed to the girl's bathroom to perfect my appearance. All that crying was definitely not good for my complexion. After washing off the makeup that remained on my face, I looked in the mirror. A simple, plain-looking girl stared back at me. I could tell her story easily. She was lonely. All she wanted was to be accepted and to be loved for who she was. One person accepted her and loved her. For years she was perfectly content. Then, suddenly, her whole world was shattered and replaced by emptiness that tore her heart to pieces. She shut everyone out so she could never get hurt. Was it a familiar story? Of course. I sighed. Everything was back in place. My makeup was much more subtle this time. Light brown eye shadow brought out my eyes while a pale pink lip gloss made my smile picture perfect. I scoffed. That smile wasn't real and everyone knew it. Sometimes people would come along and fix me. Good luck with that. Nothing's broken, I then whispered to myself. I just like to be lonely sometimes. The final lyrics in that Ashlee Simpson song came out of my mouth as a whisper.

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Is anybody out there?  
Does anybody see  
That sometimes loneliness is just a part of me?  
Who will be the one to save me from myself?   
Who will be the one who's there  
And not ashamed to see me crawl?  
Who's gonna catch me when I fall?_**

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I stepped out of the bathroom and, once again, stared at the clock. Seven thirty-five. I have impeccable timing. Well, nothing left to do but wait for the hordes of people to come in. Each and everyone one had the same purpose-to be accepted. Before that Gabriella girl came, everyone was in their place. Geeks and nerds hung out with other geeks and nerds. Jocks and cheerleaders acted as though all others did not exist. Skaters were their own little clique that no one else disturbed. Then there was the greatest group of all, the drama 'geeks'. I preferred calling us the drama club. It was much less degrading. Now everyone hangs out with each other. Bolton was to blame as well. The mention of the word Bolton came to my head and I let my subconscious take over. 

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Flashback**_  
"_Troy, baby, what are you doing here? Our date isn't until much later. Come back in three hours. I haven't even showered!" His nose crinkled when I said that last sentence. Boy was he cute when his nose crinkled. Actually, he was just cute no matter what. Except now. Right now he looked worried. He was blinking much more than usual. Not a good sign, definitely not a good sign. Something was up. "Troy, what's wrong?" I stepped out onto the porch he was standing on. Instinctively, Ryan came up behind me and laid a protective hand on my shoulder. Did he know something I didn't? That's a yes. Troy glanced at him and Ryan nodded. He whispered words of encouragement in my ear and then walked away. I know what's going on. Of course I know what's going on. What I don't know is why._

"_Sharpay, listen, I think..." My mind was reeling. Why? Wasn't he happy? Didn't he love me?_

"_You think _what_ Troy?" I spat._

_He looked nervous. If I wasn't so angry, I would've instead tried to make it better. It seemed he'd told Ryan before me. Actually, a lot of people at school were giving me sympathetic looks. Did everyone know before me? Why didn't I catch on? "Maybe we should end this."_

"_That's it? Maybe we should end this?" My tone and body language was mocking him. Those acting lessons definitely paid off. If I act mad, maybe he won't notice I'm falling apart inside._

"_Please, don't make this any harder than it already is. We want different things."_

"_Did you take that from a movie, Bolton? 'We want different things?' We're not getting married! Is our relationship just a burden to you now? Do you want to see other people, try other things? Or is there just no spark left?" Hot tears ran down my cheeks and hit the porch._

_Troy turned around to leave, but then walked back to face me. We were inches apart. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I need to focus on basketball. You want to do theater, but I don't belong there."_

_I slapped him. "That's your brilliant reason for breaking my heart into millions of pieces, Bolton? That we have different interests? It never stopped you before." My cold exterior was slowly cracking as tears filled his eyes. I dropped the act and slid down to the ground. My tears were silent; the only evidence I was crying were the slight convulsions I made every so often. Troy didn't know what to do. First he grabbed my hand, but I quickly pulled it away. He brushed the hair off of my face, but I shuddered at his touch. Two, three, maybe ten minutes later, I got back up. "Just go. You want it to end? Fine, it's over." My words were venomous and I could see that each one broke him more and more. Good, I thought. Maybe now he'll realize how much his words hurt me._

"_Shar, please, not like this. I'll do anything to get you to understand. What can I say? What can I do to make it better? I still love you. It's just...we're different people than we were when this started out. You know it's true." The look in his eyes told me he'd do anything to take those words back. I just smirked._

_We stood in silence for a few moments. I stepped closer to him and smiled. His eyes brightened and were full of home. I held back another smirk as I replied, "Yes, you're right." My sickly-sweet voice made him shiver. "We are different people now. You aren't the Troy I fell in love with. Somewhere along the way you changed. Maybe I did as well. You still love me?" A cold laugh escaped my lips. I could hear my heart breaking, but I paid no attention to it. Instead I relied on my brain which told me to act completely cold towards him. And that's exactly what I did. "Well, Bolton, I don't love you anymore."_

_As I turned towards the door, he grabbed my hand. "The way you say 'Bolton'...do you really hate me that much?"_

_Without so much as a reply, I slammed the door in his face.  
**End Flashback

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**_

That memory which once brought tears to my eyes now reinforced my cold façade. The shudder in his touch, the confusion in his voice, fueled my anger. How could he do that when he claimed to still love me? I looked up at the all-too-familiar clock and a relieved sigh filled my body. I still have five minutes to get to class. The noise of the hallways suddenly filled my ears and my head began to pound. Yet another wonderful addition to my wonderful day. I quickly plastered on a smirk and walked through the hallways acting totally aloof. "Idiots," I mumbled. None of them saw how lonely I really was. That, of course, was for the better. I don't need anyone's sympathy. I hate it when people act sorry for you; it gets so annoying. Crowds parted for me and watched me walk away in silence. At least I have power over these people. I suddenly realized how shallow I sounded. Wow, I really had changed. Too late to go back now, I reasoned. As I enter my locker combination to get my books for homeroom, a very peppy Gabriella approaches me.

"Hey, Shar!" I shuddered internally at the use of my nickname. "I just wanted to say you did really well yesterday at the auditions! I hope we both get lead parts...I heard that it's a love triangle! I think Mrs. Darbus did that so you, Troy, and I would get the lead parts! I'm so excited! Even as a not-so-lead part in the winter musical, you were amazing!" So many things were wrong with what she had said. First of all, the bitterness of what happened yesterday was fresh in her mind and I heard it in that first sentence. It was quickly replaced with obnoxious statements in an overly happy voice. Mix that in with the loving way she said Troy's name and I was extremely close to vomiting. That would be completely rude of me, though, so I held it in.

"Oh my gosh, that would be just fab-u-lous!" I mocked. She just smiled, hugged me, and walked away. For an Einstienette she was extremely oblivious at times. I just smirked as she walked away. When she turned around to wave, I quickly smiled again. Disgustingly sweet, that was how I described that encounter. I knew she was just acting so I would think there were no hard feelings. The truth was in her eyes. She saw me as a threat. Like I would ever take her precious basketball boy away from her. I had better things on my mind than him. Wait a minute, no I didn't. Whatever. Off to homeroom! I slammed my locker shut and began walking to Mrs. Darbus' room. Walking hand-in-hand ahead of me were Bolton and Gabriella. Bolton. The use of his last name makes it easier to hate him. Even though I still kinda-sorta-almost-barely love him. That can easily be hidden though. He nearly flinched when she hugged him and I almost burst out in laughter. I brushed right past them as they kissed. "Mrs. Darbus, would you please inform the couple outside that PDA is just not allowed in the hallways?" I smirked as she walked outside to yell at them.

I could faintly hear her voice. "...If you two do this in the theater, the temple of the arts...my temple...out of there as fast as you can say musicale." Sniggers could be heard around the room, even from Taylor and Chad. Gabriella and Troy then walked in looking embarrassed and a bit angry, respectively. "Now," Mrs. Darbus said as she clapped, "Today we will debate on the true beginnings of the theater." The class groaned.

About 7 hours later, a time that seemed like an eternity, the school day was finally over. I placed my books back in my locker and then checked my hair. It was still perfectly wrapped in a bun with a few tendrils framing my face. Another figure suddenly appeared in my mirror. "Bolton," I acknowledged.

"Evans, if we're now going by last names..." He paused so he could laugh at his dumb little joke. I smiled and motioned for him to continue. "Anyway, I just wanted to apologize for this morning. I just thought..."

"That's your problem. You think too much." My words had a double-meaning that only he could interpret. "Next time, try just following your heart, or your head. Whichever one makes the most sense at the time. Don't confuse what makes sense with what is easier. I followed my heart and my brain and worked hard at what I loved, the theater. See where it got me?" He grimaced slightly at the double-edged sword my cold words became. To others passing by, however, it sounded like I was simply giving him advice. "Now, Bolton, if you don't mind, I really have to get home."

He slammed his hand on a locker as I walked away, so I turned around and gave him an icy stare. "Don't bother, Sharpay. Your glares never bothered me before, and they don't bother me now. That's not who you are. I know that's not who you are."

I gave him a sweet smile. "Oh, Bolton, please tell me who I am then. I'm _dying_ to know." I was challenging him; my eyes gave it away. After all, I meant them to.

"Fine, but it might take a while. I'll walk you home."

I couldn't help but feel a little elated. Especially since this would mean he couldn't take Gabriella home. Breaking that perfect little girl's heart was definitely a priority; I want my theater back! Theater was always _my _thing. No one ever could take it away, even if they wanted to. Then, out of the blue, a basketball star and a genius girl take that away from me! I'm not going down without a fight. If Troy happens to fall back in love with me in the process, that would be even better for me. I have to convince him I don't actually want him to, but still get him to walk me home. During times like this, I'm so glad my parents sent me to acting school. "Whatever. If it'll get you to leave me alone later, I'll let you 'tell me who I really am'."

"Great!" He smiled at me and I nearly melted. Even after all the times he's hurt me, his smile still affects me the same way it did when we dated. "Now, let's go." Troy linked his arm with mine. At least, he attempted to. I pulled away and whispered Gabriella's name. "Oh, right..." I heard him mumble. This walk home will certainly be interesting. I smiled at him and we headed out the door.

**

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A/N:** That's the end of chapter 3! I still can't believe you guys convinced me to make this a story. Now I like it better than "Dreams, Secrets, and True Love". Well, I hope you all liked it! I know Sharpay's thoughts were a bit mean, but we're talking about the people who completely broke her heart. Besides, the Sharpay we all know and love would not suddenly be nice just because Troy sang her a song. Trust me; I know what I'm doing! Please **R&R** for a faster update! At least 7 reviews or no new chapter. That's really not asking for much. Only about 30 seconds of your time. I need to know that people actually read this story or there's really no reason for me to update.

Oh, and don't worry...I haven't abandoned my other story. I'm just having a severe case of writer's block, along with the fact that I have no time. I'll try to update as soon as I can.


	4. Promise

**Disclaimer**: See 2nd Chapter.

**A/N:** Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry this chapter took so long to write! I've just been so busy...I finished my finals two weeks ago, school ended last week, I had a graduation party...just a lot of stuff was going on. Anyway, I hope the length of this chapter makes up for all of that! Thank you to everyone who's reviewed and loves this story! I'm not much of a writer, so I'm glad you all like it! Since I'm finally on vacation, updates should come a bit sooner...once I get over my writer's block.

* * *

Light hit my eyes and I awoke quickly. In the mirror, I saw that my reflection was completely hideous. My hair was a mess and I still had my clothes on from yesterday. Great, I had fallen asleep doing homework. I'll ask the sweet and darling Gabriella for help during homeroom. She can never deny a girl in need. Hah. Out of the corner of my eye, I see something that wasn't usually in my spotless room. It was a small pink flower with a note attached. Ryan was staring at me, confused. He was dressed in sweats and a hoodie. I shuddered at his new taste in clothes. At home, however, he was still the same old Ryan...mostly. 

"Finally, Sleeping Beauty awakens. I was so close to kissing you." I smirked at him and threw a pillow at his head.

"Very funny Ryan...I'm laughing so hard on the inside. What do you want?"

"We need to leave for school in thirty minutes. You aren't even close to ready...and I know how long it takes you to get ready. I took it upon myself to pick out your outfit for today so you wouldn't have to. All you need to do is put it on and fix...your head. It looks disgusting." I couldn't believe Ryan would do that for me. I smiled at him and gave him a hug.

"Ryan, you are the greatest brother on the planet." He bowed, pretending to be humble. "Seriously, you are! Thank you so much."

"Yeah, well, don't think I'm always going to do this for you." My smile faltered. So maybe he wasn't completely back to who he was before, but I know deep down Ryan is still the same brother that used to star in every musical with me. His eyes darted down to the flower I was holding. "Who's it from? A secret admirer?"

"I don't know," I sighed. "It was outside by the balcony dad had installed. Oh, look, there's a note."

"Well, read it!" His eyes sparkled. I missed that. Ever since he got his 'new' friends, I'd been completely ignored. Every moment I now spent with Ryan was special. He was my twin and I missed him, despite how slow he is sometimes...well, all the time. "Come on, Sharpay! Read it already."

"Oh, right, sorry. It says,

'_Sharpay, I'm sorry for what happened. Please forgive me. Troy.'_

That's all it says. I don't get it."

"Neither do I. Wait a minute, he's 'sorry' for what? What did you do yesterday...?"

Suddenly, I began to recall the previous night's events.

* * *

_**Flashback**  
We began walking out of the school as many people whispered. He seemed a bit annoyed by this, but I was completely used to it. For the first block or two we walked in an awkward silence. He was the first to break the silence. "Sharpay, listen, I know why you're such a..." He paused, apparently looking for the right words to say. I knew what he wanted to say, so I filled in the blank._

"_Such a bitch? Is that what you wanted to say?" He gave me a halfhearted smile and nodded. "It's okay, I'm used to it. Everyone calls me that. No big deal, really."_

"_Why do you do that?" Troy had stopped and was looking at me. I turned around to face him._

"_Do what?" Unintentionally, I began glaring at him. I knew what he was about to say. Gabriella tried confronting me and asked the same thing. It was aggravating, but I let him keep going. Troy was not Gabriella and I needed to understand that. He wasn't overly sweet and didn't act like he knew everything. He didn't steal the one thing I had wanted more than anything else. Well, he did...in a way. He stole the heart that was now overly protected and guarded. Then Gabriella stole him._

"_You block everyone out. Whenever someone gets too close, you push them away. You did that to Zeke and even Ryan."_

"_Ryan has nothing to do with this. He started playing basketball because he wanted to, Bolton. You don't know him at all!" I can't believe he actually thinks I would push away my own brother. I do not block everyone out! As I began to walk away, he yelled out that I was doing exactly what he had just said. He was right, but I didn't want to admit it. Instead, I let him catch up to me. "I block everyone out? Well then, Bolton, why exactly do I do that?" I had begun to use my 'ice queen' voice simply because he was aggravating me. How dare he think he knows me so well! If he knew me so well, he would know that it was his fault._

"_I...I don't...know." Troy was stuttering. Good, he was nervous. I looked up into his eyes and I saw fear. No, not fear. I saw hurt, understanding, compassion, and maybe even love. It was the way he looked at me whenever I was upset while we were dating. He cared about me then.  
_

"_Troy doesn't know the answer! Call all the reporters; it's a first!" I mocked. Inside, however, I saw that he knew it was his fault. His eyes began to well up with tears. My voice softened as I continued, "I block people out so I don't get hurt. People always end up disappointing me. Whenever I trust someone, they end up hurting me. I just got tired of it so I started blocking them out."_

"_Sharpay, I never meant to...I didn't think...I'm sorry."_

"_Troy, I think you did mean to. Otherwise, you would've ended it a lot better." I smiled. It was a fake smile. "It's okay though, because I'm over it." I turned around and began to walk away._

"_Would you...STOP WALKING AWAY!" Troy ran up to me and grabbed my arm. He turned my head so I was looking directly at him. "Why won't you just talk to me?" He began to mumble. "You used to talk to me all the time."_

_I wrenched my arm out of his grip. "Yeah, and you used to love me. Things change, Bolton." My vision became cloudy and hot tears ran down my face. Great, now he's going to see me cry. "I can't let him see me cry," I murmured._

"_What's wrong with letting me see you cry?" Damnit, he heard me. I was still standing inches in front of him. With his left hand, he tilted my chin up to face him. His right hand found its way to the small of my back and pulled me in closer. "Look at me, Sharpay," he whispered. Reluctantly, I let my eyes lock onto his. Next thing I know, he's pressing his lips against mine. I pulled back and just looked at him. He smiled at me and I smiled back. "A real smile! I think we're getting somewhere."_

_We both laughed. "Just shut up and kiss me, Bolton." His lips found mine again and we were lost in our emotions. On his side, I felt relief and just pure bliss. In return, I released my pain, hurt, and desperation. The kiss deepened as I ran my hand through his soft, brown hair. I could feel his hands running up and down my back. He gently pulled away. Our foreheads kept touching as we smiled at each other. My happiness was interrupted by the rustling of leaves. "Troy, did you hear that?"_

"_I didn't hear anything. It's probably just your imagination." Yeah, it was probably just my imagination._

"_Alright, whatever." I sighed. He looked at me questioningly. "It was a happy, I-can't-believe-that-just-happened sigh."_

"_Oh, well good." We walked in silence for the next few moments, unsure as to where we were supposed to go after that...that moment. It was absolutely amazing and everything I'd ever dreamed of, but something was holding me back from going back to Troy. Oh, yes, my self-respect. I promised myself that, while I may still love Troy Bolton with all my heart and soul, I would never go back to him. I remembered one time when we had tried dating again, but it didn't work because I found him making fun of me with all his friends the next day. That was the same day I made myself that promise. _

_Troy suddenly stopped. He opened his mouth to speak, but then shut it again. He looked like he was thinking about something, but I wasn't sure what. After a few moments, he broke the awkward silence. "How would you...uh...well..."_

"_Yeah? How would I..."_

"_How would you like to go out to dinner with me? Right now?" he blurted out._

"_Troy, I'd love to...but I don't want to...I mean, I do...but...Gabriella," was all I could manage to blurt out. This moment had played in my head millions of times-Troy would ask me out, we'd go on a date, and fall madly in love with each other again. Yet, I couldn't say yes to him. My heart was screaming at me to just go with him, but my head told me that this would end badly. "Remember how I'd told you sometimes we have to make decisions based on what our heart or head tells us? Well, my heart tells me to go right ahead, forget the consequences, and be happy for the first time in a really long time."_

_Troy cut me off. "Great, so let's go!" He grabbed my arm and tried to drag me somewhere, but I pulled him back._

"_I'm not finished. On the other hand, my head is telling me that I shouldn't go with you. It says I should respect the relationship you now have with Gabriella and let you be happy." He opened his mouth to speak, but I shushed him. "Troy, it doesn't matter how many times you tell me that you love me, the point is you chose basketball over me then and now you should choose Gabriella over me. You have no idea how much I want to just say yes and have dinner with you, but I also know that I'll end up hurt again. I'm just trying to protect myself from getting hurt. I'm not going to be the girl you cheat on Gabriella with."_

"_Listen, it's not technically a date, so we're technically not doing anything wrong." He smiled._

"_Troy, don't you get it? I'm not going out to dinner with you. Please, stop trying." I looked to my left and saw that I was at my house. "Listen, I'm going to go home now and pretend this never happened. Don't follow me and don't break up with Gabriella for my sake. This...us...will never happen again. I'm sorry I let it get this far. Troy, I love you, I really do, but I can't and it hurts so much. Just go...please." I was beginning to tear up, so I walked to my door._

_No one was home, so I went upstairs to my room and cried. Bits and pieces of my conversation with Troy ran through my head. Him asking me why I always blocked people out, the first kiss he had given me, and us smiling at each other...those memories confused me so much. I couldn't take it anymore and I was about to call Katherine, my cousin in Louisiana. My hand was reaching out to grab my cell phone when I heard someone outside my window. Outside my window was a balcony that my father had installed only six months before his death. It was my Christmas present that year; he built it so that I would have a place to sing my heart out or just feel like Juliet. I saw Troy standing there and pleading with me to go outside. Against my better judgment, I consented and stood outside. He asked me to dance and I replied that there was no music. In response, he grabbed my waist and began to sing in my ear.  
_

"_I can't take this.  
I need somewhere to go,  
I need you.  
I'm so restless  
I don't know what to do._

'_Cause we've had our rough times,  
With fighting all night,  
And now you're just slipping away.  
So give me this chance,  
To make the wrongs right, to say...  
Don't, don't, don't walk away._

_I promise,  
I won't let you down,  
If you take my hand tonight.  
I promise,  
We'll be just fine, this time,  
If you take my hand tonight...  
If you take my hand tonight._

_Without you I go through the motions.  
Without you it's just not quite the same.  
Without you I don't want to go out,  
I just wanted to say._

That I'm sick of these fights,  
I'll let you be right,  
If it stops you from running away.  
So give me this chance,  
To make the wrongs right, to say,  
Don't, don't, don't walk away.

_I promise,  
I won't let you down,  
If you take my hand tonight.  
I promise,  
We'll be just fine, this time,  
If you take my hand tonight...  
If you take my hand tonight."_

_I looked in his eyes as he finished the song and he stared right back into mine. "Troy," I whispered, "what are you doing?"_

"_Sharpay, please, just give me one chance. At least go to dinner with me as a friend. Please? I don't want to beg, but I will if that's what it's going to take."_

I smiled and mocked hesitation. "Well, I think you're going to need to beg just a little bit."

"_Okay then, Miss Sharpay Evans, I'm here on my knees," Troy began as he got down on his knees in a prayer-like position, "asking you if you will go to dinner with me. All I want is one chance to prove to you that I never stopped caring. If, at the end of the night, you decide we are better as friends, I'll be okay with that. We can go anywhere you want and you can order anything you want. Please, Miss Evans, say yes and make me the happiest guy standing on your balcony."_

_I turned around as my face reddened and suddenly burst out laughing. After composing myself, I faced him again and said, in the same tone, "Okay, Mister Troy Bolton, I will give you this chance. I will go to dinner with you at the Chinese place down the street and we will talk about our relationship over an order of shrimp lo mein." We laughed for about a minute, then he left me to get ready. Thirty minutes later, I walked down my steps dressed in a deep red halter top and dark jeans. My hair was down and flowing around my shoulders. Troy's mouth dropped; the expression I was hoping for._

"_Shar...you look...wow..." Troy Bolton was at a loss for words._

"_Troy Bolton? Speechless? This is something I haven't seen in a very long time." We laughed. He took my arm and we drove in silence to the restaurant I had chosen. The dinner went by quickly. We talked about the crazy memories we had together, Twinkle Towne, and almost everything. The one topic that remained unspoken was what we were going to do after tonight._

"_Is Mrs. Darbus always...like...the way she is?" Troy asked me after we finished discussing the newest play._

"_She loves the theater. It has been her life since...well, the story is really personal for her...let's just say she's had as much luck in love as I have." Troy nodded his understanding. "Anyway, the theater is basically all she has left. It's her whole life."_

_Troy smiled at me. "Let's hope you don't end up the same way. That would just be creepy."_

_I smirked at him and pretended to smack him. "Very funny, Bolton. Now, we better go...it's getting late."_

"_Shar..." Troy looked at me expectantly._

"_Don't...just don't say anything. You'll ruin it."_

"_We need to...talk about this. Sharpay, please?" I simply shook my head. "Fine, then I'll talk and you'll listen. This night was amazing. I've had more fun with you tonight than I have on a million dates with Gabriella. Not that I've been on a million dates or anything..." I smiled at him and motioned that he continue. "Right, anyway, I just don't want to lose this. I mean, us...before it was amazing. Now it's like...so much more than that. Until tonight, I had forgotten how special you...we were."_

_I could feel a single tear making its way down my cheek. His hand came up to brush it away. In that one simple motion, I felt what he had just said. "Troy, something is different between us...more than friendship. I can see that now. But...it's not possible. It never will be, Troy. Please, just don't make this harder on me...on us...Troy, there is no us. Not anymore. You gave up on us...you went to Gabriella instead because it was the easier choice. You picked her and there's no going back, not right now...maybe not ever. I'm sorry, Troy." I placed a $20 bill on the table and walked out._

_Once I reached the outside of the building, I began to cry. How could I say no to the one person I've wanted more than anything? How could I say no to breaking Gabriella's heart? Why couldn't I just let myself be happy, even if it meant hurting others?_

"_It's because you're a good person, Sharpay." Oh gosh, I must've said that out loud. "Besides, you won't be the one breaking Gabriella's heart, I will. Don't you know by now that I never stopped loving you?"_

"_Troy, please, just stop right now. I can't let you do that! You were happy...until I sang that song. I can't ruin what you have with Gabriella. You're happy with her. I'm not going to mess that—"_

_He took a step closer to me. I could feel his breath on my face and see the sparkle in his eyes. "You won't be messing anything up. Gabriella and I...aren't as close as we used to be. There's nothing there anymore and she feels it too."_

"_Shut up! You're just...you're going to break my heart again. Bolton, just disappear from my life forever. You think that just taking me home, serenading me, and taking me to dinner will make me forget everything you've done? How dense can you be, Troy? First, you take my heart and smash it into a million pieces because you're not willing to give up basketball for me...even when I never asked you to. Then, you meet Gabriella and suddenly you're willing to do the one thing you swore to me you would never do-try out for a musical. You and Gabriella then proceed to take away the only other thing I've ever wanted-the starring role in the school's musical! Did you really think none of that mattered to me? Did you really think I would just let it go? Why can't you just give up? Why can't you just...leave me alone!" He was still inches away from my face, so I slapped him and ran away.  
**End of Flashback

* * *

**_

"Whatever, it's not important. He just tried to get back together with me, even though he's with Gabriella. Anyway, you need to get out so I can get ready for school. If we don't hurry, we might be late." I smiled at him. "Once again, thanks for doing this for me. I thought that after you...nevermind. We can talk later."

"Okay, Shar. I'll see you down in a few minutes, alright?" He headed towards the door, but turned around to smile at me. I gave him a huge smile back.

**A/N:** Well, that's chapter 4...hope you liked it! Next chapter spoilers:  
-Troy and Sharpay have to learn to get along during school after being assigned a 'special' project.  
-Gabriella and Troy's relationship is on the rocks. Will a huge fight be the end?

Anyway, for a faster update, just review! Thanks.


	5. Unbelievable Reflections

**A/N:** Wow, I really am terrible at updating this frequently, aren't I? I really hope you are still out there reading this...anyway, here's the next chapter. It's pretty long, so I expect some reviews! For all of you that still review, thank you SO much. It means a lot when I get reviews, especially positive ones. This isn't my favorite chapter, but I still hope you like it. I haven't abandoned this story, or my other one, I promise. I'm finishing both up and will post the remaining chapters (hopefully) before the end of this year. I will finish this story and my other one, I promise. I also have some other ideas that I might write up. I'll be smarter about those other stories if I do them and I'll write it all out before posting. Anyway, here's the chapter!

When I got to school, exhaustion finally kicked in. It was the first time that I had been late to homeroom. After whispering to Mrs. Darbus that I had _an urgent problem I needed to fix_, she winked at me and allowed me to take my seat. This was yet another time I was thankful my parents urged me to take acting lessons. People can be so easy to manipulate if you play to your strengths and their weaknesses. I could tell that Troy was watching my every move, so I made a more obvious display of attempting to avoid him and Gabriella. He kept looking back at me, but I remained focused on the blank piece of paper in front of me. I didn't hear what Mrs. Darbus was saying about the play, which was extremely unusual; I was too busy figuring out how to handle Bolton and Montez. When the bell rang signaling the end of homeroom, I rushed out of the room. Footsteps behind me were getting louder and faster, so I nearly sprinted to my locker. Once there, I turned to see who was following me and realized it was only Ryan.

I greeted him with a simple 'hey' in an attempt to act nonchalant. Ryan saw through the act immediately; he was the only one I had yet to figure out how to manipulate. In a way, I'm glad I can't trick him into thinking what I want him to think. He's always been there for me and I trust him with my life, even when he's wearing plain sweatpants and a hoodie.

"Sharpay, did you hear anything Mrs. Darbus said during homeroom?" He looked genuinely worried, so I told him the truth.

"No, I didn't. Why, did she say something important?"

"What has been up with you lately? For the past few days you've been so weird. It's like you're a completely different version of my sister. Take today for example. You didn't wake up on time, you're wearing your make-up differently than you usually do, you were late to class, you look completely exhausted, and you didn't pay attention during homeroom when Mrs. Darbus talked about the play! I may be slow, Shar, but even I know something is wrong with you. Now, do you want to tell me what it is or do I have to force it out of you?"

I just stared at him. What was with everyone this week? They all are acting like they're _worried_ about me and my happiness all of the sudden. Ryan wasn't even there when I auditioned. That was when all this started. If he was there, if he hadn't become some basketball-boy, he would've known what was wrong. I guess my anger at him finally won out because words I never wanted to say out loud were pouring out of my mouth. "Ryan, stop pretending that you even care about your drama queen sister. You're friends with all the jocks now-Chad, Troy, Zeke, Jason...why in the world are you even bothering to talk to me. Aren't you worried I might hurt your chances of making it on the basketball team? You know better than me that every group in this school is now 'mingling,' but they all still hate me. Why? Because I'm the resident Ice Queen here and no one else thinks I can change. Ever since Troy and Gabriella changed everything, you've been different, too. You barely even care about me anymore! You aren't there when I need you anymore. I have no one to turn to anymore because you are GONE! Please, don't bother me until the real Ryan comes back."

After seeing Ryan's hurt expression, I sincerely wished I could back everything I had just said. "Ryan, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean...that's not what...I shouldn't have said that. That's not what I think at all, you know that."

"Save it Sharpay." His voice was cold and harsh. I deserved it, I know I did. "Did you know that I stick up for you every single day? They all talk about you. They say you're trying to steal Troy from Gabriella. I always defend you. I tell them over and over again that you want nothing to do with him or Gabriella. They call you an Ice Queen and I tell them they've never even given you a chance. I tell them you deserved more credit than they gave you. I even convinced myself that the only reason you acted like that was because everyone expected you to act that way. I joked with myself once, saying you were just being nice to them by acting the way they wanted you to. But you know what? Now I realize they were right about you all along. You're just a selfish, heartless Ice Queen. No one matters to you besides yourself. I hate you, Sharpay."

Hearing him call me an Ice Queen hurt more than anything else. How could he even think of hating me? He looked so mad, but he had no right to say that. He just didn't! I was angry at him; I was angrier than I had ever been. How dare he call me that! He _knows _I hate it when people say that. I couldn't see anymore, but somehow my hand found its way to his face. I had slapped him...I had slapped my own brother! I couldn't take any of this anymore. The crowd that had gathered during our argument parted as I ran to the bathroom. A bitter laugh escaped my lips as I realized how much time I'd been spending in there lately.

A group of freshman girls quickly exited the bathroom after seeing my less-than-perfect face. It certainly added much insult to injury. For a moment, I stared in the mirror and began to see what everyone else saw. Even with my ruined make-up, I still looked absolutely cold. I suppose that was just how I put everything on. My eye shadow, though smudged, was ice-blue. Dark eyeliner, or what was left of it, seemed to accentuate my seemingly hollow eyes. Lip liner and dark lipstick gave the illusion that I was constantly pouting. It hurt to imagine the things that Ryan said about me were true. That the things everyone said about me were reality and what I thought was fiction. Sighing, I turned on the faucet so I could begin rebuilding my appearance.

_Look at me.  
You may think you see  
Who I really am  
But you'll never know me._

I could still hear Ryan's voice in my head. It was taunting me; driving me absolutely insane. My heart was shattered in a million pieces as I recalled his final sentence. **_I hate you, Sharpay_**. My own brother, my lifeline...hated me. All the pain I'd ever felt in the world paled in comparison to the hurt I feel right now. Once again looking at the blonde-haired girl gazing at me in the mirror, I wondered if he was right. Did I act this way because it's who I am or because it was who everyone thought I was?

_Every day  
It's as if I play a part  
Now I see  
If I wear a mask  
I can fool the world  
But I cannot fool my heart_

After washing off the mask I used to hide visible imperfections on my face, I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Dark circles were beginning to form under my red and puffy eyes. I picked out a few wrinkles that would be invisible to anyone else. I sighed as I realized I didn't have much time left if I wanted to make it to class at all. Quickly, I added a light layer of make-up: just enough to cover up the fact that I had been crying. I put on my waterproof mascara as a precaution. Something inside told me that I would have another crying fit later today.

_Who is that girl I see  
Staring straight back at me?  
When will my reflection show  
Who I am inside?_

The next few classes were relatively monotonous. Ryan, Gabriella, and Troy weren't in them so I had some time to clear my head. During lunch I sat at the empty drama table. Ever since the winter musical, no one really sat on the balcony anymore. I stared down at everyone else and they looked perfectly content without me. A shadow passed over the faces of Ryan and Gabriella, but quickly disappeared. I had a feeling that I was mentioned just then. My suspicions were confirmed when one of the basketball jocks made the mistake of looking up at me. They all pulled him down quickly and began whispering something to him. They all laughed. I hated that they were happy. No, I hated that they were happy without me.

* * *

During free period, I had fully intended to release my anger by jogging on the school's track. The basketball team was practicing inside and it was completely empty. I hadn't even managed to jog one lap when I noticed that Troy was following after me. I ran faster, but he caught up minutes later. Realizing I was defeated, I stopped and asked him what he wanted. 

"Well, we...there's...um...it's not like you to miss play practice."

My jaw nearly dropped and my eyes widened. "I don't get it Troy. What are you trying to say?"

"Sharpay, Mrs. Darbus announced that the three leads, including you, are supposed to meet in the theater today during free period for practice. Weren't you paying attention during homeroom? Hurry, before she gives your part to someone else." He looked at me with a boyish smile. Any other day, I would've melted on the spot, but today I felt immune to his charm. The argument I had earlier this morning had completely worn me out.

I followed him back inside the school. We could hear Gabriella practicing some of her lines while Mrs. Darbus criticized her. When we walked into the theater, Gabriella stopped and Mrs. Darbus walked towards us. "Sharpay, I expected that you of all people would be here on time. Instead I had to send out an amateur out to go find you? What example is this to people who are still new to the theater?"

There was really nothing I could say to that. She looked disappointed in me, but I just couldn't find myself caring about it. Luckily, Mrs. Darbus didn't press the issue and immediately herded Troy and I onto the stage. I stood far away from Gabriella and Troy. I could feel the amount of tension in the room rise significantly.

Mrs. Darbus began pacing, but remained silent. After a quick sigh, she began to speak. "I've seen the three of you rehearse and something just doesn't feel right about the ending. This play is about three teenagers, all completely different, facing drama. It is a love triangle between the three of you, but I just can't seem to feel the emotion." She paused for dramatic effect. I nearly laughed because she had no idea how similar the play was to our lives at the moment. She continued as I smothered a giggle that escaped from my throat. "Now, I am taking a risk and I'm having the three of you come up with an ending to this play. I'll leave you three to work."

I inwardly groaned, but remained stoic as Troy and Gabriella began whispering about our latest task. Thinking they wouldn't bother asking me for input, I sat down on the edge of the stage. My feet were hanging off the edge. Looking out into where the audience would sit, I felt a sense of comfort. On the stage, I could be whoever I wanted to be. There was no pressure to be amazing at something from my mother or Ryan. No one expected me to be an Ice Queen. I could just lose myself in my character and in the music. My character for this play was like my alter-ego. I played Madelyn Johnson, a shy girl who had just moved to a new school. There was one similarity between Madelyn and myself; music was our salvation. She was sweet and sensitive and tried to please everyone around her. Even though she was new to the school, expectations ran high after the captain of the football team falls for her. Instead, she is attracted to the less popular boy played by Troy Bolton, even though he is rude to her in the beginning. He's off limits to her after Gabriella's character, Jessica Cruz, begins dating him. Jessica Cruz is the class president and a complete perfectionist. She's nice to everyone, but is secretly jealous of Madelyn. The original ending was that Victor chooses Jessica, and I'm sure that isn't going to change.

Gabriella walks slowly over to me, I can tell it's her by the click of her heels, and sits down next to me. She just looks at me, and I look back at her. It's just like one of those moments on _Lifetime_ when the two adversaries agree to a truce simply by looking at each other. In fact, that's exactly what happens. Unsure of what to say, she gets up and walks over to Troy. I watch her leave. I don't want to go over there and work with them. There's nothing I can contribute; there's nothing I can say that would help write an ending. I've been in the theater for so long, but just can't think of a better ending than the one Kelsi wrote. She glances back at me and motions for me to walk over there, but I just can't. She whispers something to Troy, and they exchange glances. I can tell Gabriella has won because he sighs and stands up.

He copies exactly what Gabriella does, but I refuse to look at him. He runs his hand through his hair. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice him mouthing something to Gabriella. She's beginning to look impatient, so he focuses his attention on me again. It's during that moment that I realize he's sitting closer to me than Gabriella was. He looks at me, and I finally meet his eyes. His lips begin to curve up. He's looking at me like he has something clever to say and can't wait to share it with me. He leans in closer to whisper something in my ear and I can see Gabriella turning away.

I can hear the smile in his voice as he whispers, "You haven't ignored me this long since I stole some shrimp off of your plate last night." He shoots me a knowing glance and I realize he wants to work out what's going on between us. Gabriella looks extremely uncomfortable, so I whisper 'later' and walk over towards her. She smiles at me in gratitude, but her eyes seem a bit cold.

They explain to me their ideas for the new ending. It was originally set that Madelyn and Victor are arguing in the cafeteria. He tells her they're over and walks towards Jessica. Madelyn goes over to slap Jessica, but stops when she sees how happy the two are together. She turns around and sits by herself. Madelyn's best friend Josh, played by Ryan (after much begging by the cast and Kelsi), sits next to her and places his arm around her. They smile at each other and walk off-stage. Jessica and Victor glance over at the two and follow them, walking hand in hand.

Troy mentions that they have decided there should be more dialogue before the curtain closes. They've also considered changing the setting, but can't decide where it should be instead. Before I can stop myself, I blurt out my own idea.

"It should be at a karaoke place just like the one that Madelyn and Victor had their first date." They glance at me, confused, but I'm on a roll now. "Okay, how does this sound? We keep the first part of the scene where Madelyn and Victor fight, but after the fight Madelyn walks off and Victor goes to Jessica. Then, later that night, Jessica and Victor go to the karaoke place. Madelyn is onstage singing something. She stops when she sees them walk in, and runs offstage. Josh appears, trying to console her as she cries. He convinces her to finish the song." I can feel myself blushing once I finish announcing my idea.

Troy and Gabriella just sit there and don't respond. I apologize for my idea and say that it was silly. Troy's eyes light up and he continues my thought. "Actually, Sharpay, I like that. When Madelyn finishes the song, Victor goes up to her and kisses her. Jessica walks off, but then Josh talks to her. She apologizes to Madelyn then starts to leave. Madelyn stops her and tells her that she can have Victor. She says she's had all she ever wanted after all and Josh runs up to hug her. Then the curtain closes."

I can tell that Gabriella doesn't really like it. "Well, wouldn't it be awkward between Sharpay and Ryan if they have to hug?"

She's trying to find a way around the idea, but I really like how Troy decided to end it. "Well, Ryan and I have had to kiss in a couple plays. It's a bit weird for us, but we're like professionals anyway. It doesn't bother us much anymore. No one really cares anymore that we're related because we can usually pull it off."

Troy adds, "Yeah, I've watched tapes of some of your performances. I borrowed them from Ryan to help me work on my acting." He looks at me. "When you and Ryan act, I completely forget that the two of you are related. I focus completely on the storyline and characters. You two are really, really good."

"Oh, I also have an idea for the song that Madelyn can sing at the karaoke bar. It's _Unbelievable _by Kaci Brown. If that's okay with you two, of course."

"Well, I don't know that song." Gabriella sounds a bit smug as she says that. A part of me wants to stand up and slap her again because she's now glaring at me. I hadn't even done anything to her. She asked me to come over and help, then made Troy ask me to help. Now she's being cold and I can't figure out why.

"Shar, why don't you sing the song so we can see if it works well?" The use of my nickname doesn't go unnoticed by Gabriella. She's looking at him, hurt, but he just shrugs.

"Um...I guess I could. I'll just sing a small part of it so you get a feel of the song."

I sit down and run my hands over the keys of the piano. Troy is looking at me expectantly while Gabriella is looking at him. I smile a bit as I realize that he's paying more attention to me than his own girlfriend. Maybe he did mean what he said last night. I push that thought from my mind and begin playing the soft melody.

"_I wish you didn't love me.  
I wish you'd make this easy.  
It was love that caught me  
Now it's fear that keeps me with you.  
I want to be by your side,  
So I can close my eyes  
To the growing emptiness inside that kills me  
When I'm with you  
You try to break me, try to hate me  
So you can fall out of love  
You want to make me believe that I'm crazy  
That I'm nothing without you._

_It's unbelievable but I believed you.  
Unforgivable but I forgave you.  
Insane what love can do  
That keeps me coming back to you  
You're irreplaceable but I'll replace you.  
Now I'm standing on my own, alone"_

When I finish, Troy is clapping and smiling at me. He nudges Gabriella, and she reluctantly begins to clap. She stops as quickly as she started and I look down in embarrassment. When I look back up, I have another attitude. Now, I'm just mad at Gabriella. "Listen, if you don't like it, just tell me." I hadn't intended for a piercing stare to accompany the sentence, but Gabriella was now stepping back slightly.

"It was fine...I guess," she murmured.

Troy gave me an encouraging smile. "I think the song will work perfectly. I like the way you made the song your own." My questioning eyes meet his and he shrugs. I realize he's been doing that a lot lately. "My cousin came over a while ago and played the CD over and over again." He winked at me, but Gabriella hadn't noticed.

I hold up my hand to my face to try and cover up my blush. I smile in thanks. For a moment, the theater is silent as Troy and I just look at each other. Gabriella gets up and runs off. I can't say that I mind, because Gabriella has been completely negative ever since Troy got me to help. It's her fault that she wanted my input. Troy decides to do the right thing and stops her before she gets out of the theater. He's talking to her softly and I can't hear what they're saying.

Gabriella starts to yell, and I jump in surprise. "Troy, I tried to pretend like it didn't happen! I tried to pretend that I didn't see anything, but I can't!"

Troy's yelling now, too. It's convenient for me, because now I can hear the whole argument. "Please, enlighten me. Tell me what is going on with you! You've been acting weird all day. You've been acting distant and weird."

"I've been acting distant? Aren't you the one that completely ditched me yesterday? I was going to give you a ride home, but you disappeared!" I couldn't help but smile. He had actually chosen to walk me home instead of getting a ride from his girlfriend. "You know what? I followed you yesterday after school. I saw you kiss Sharpay! I can't believe you would do that to me! Now you're treating Sharpay like she's your girlfriend, not me."

"Gabriella, what are you talking about? I've been nice to her like _you_ told me to! What is wrong with you?"

"Troy, I told you to be nice to her, not act like you're in love with her. Whenever she says or does something, you're staring at her like a lovesick puppy. You've ignored me this whole time. You haven't listened to a thing I've suggested!"

"Maybe that's because everything you've said has been negative! You've been putting Sharpay down when she's been helping more than you. At least she came up with an idea! A very good one, at that."

Troy's fist is clenched and I can tell he's trying his hardest to hold in his anger. Now he's just letting Gabriella scream at him. I want to go over and help, but I don't know what I could say without making things worse. She's now complaining to him about me. He's trying to defend me, but I can't tell what he's saying anymore. His voice has dropped to a hoarse whisper, but it seems to be having its effect on Gabriella. Slowly, cautiously, I decide to make my way over to them. The back exit of the theater has been closed and passing them is the only way to leave.

I can feel Gabriella's eyes slowly pass over me. Her gaze chills every part of me. I slowly bring my gaze over to her and mimic her actions. Troy just stares at our silent exchange. Gabriella's features soften, and she walks over to me. Tentatively, she grabs my hand and begins to speak. I can't hear what she's saying; I refuse to hear it. My ears do, however, catch the final sentence. She offers her help. She asks if I want to talk to her about it.

I laughed. It was mirthless, bitter, and sarcastic. She took a large step back and looked at me. Her shocked expression rivaled that of a deer caught in the headlights of a rather large truck. "Gabriella, do you honestly think that I would tell you of all people what was wrong with me? After all you've done...after all you've taken away from me, you think I'd come crying to you? What makes you think that I'd trust you at all? Tell me; after I told you what was wrong, what were you going to say? That you sympathize with me? Or would you say that it's going to be okay? You will never understand anything that happens to me. If you even went through half of the things I've gone through, you'd know that nothing anyone can do or say will make it better. If everything you said or did would hurt you more, you would _know_ that nothing will fix it. So please spare me the generic pep talk because I definitely do not want help from you."

She stared at me and I thought she would cry. Instead, she replied with an equal amount of venom in her voice. "Oh, please. Cut the major drama queen act. I have been nothing but nice to you because Troy and Ryan _begged _me to. You're right; I have no idea what it's like to be you. After all your little rampages, I'm so freaking glad that I haven't gone through what you have. You break the hearts of every guy you've come in contact with—Troy, Zeke, even your own brother! Your little routine where you act all helpless then push them away when they try to help is getting old. They all end up hurt because they want to help but can't. You're petty and snobby and you take everything way too seriously. Maybe you should try realizing that not _everything_ revolves around you. Not everyone is trying to ruin your life. I didn't try out for the play because I wanted to hurt you; I tried out because I love it just as much as you do. I'm sorry I ever cared." Gabriella brushed past me and exited the theater.

Troy walked over to me and just stared at me. He looked terrified of what I had said and done. His voice was timid at first, so much that I couldn't hear him. As his voice gained strength, I began to listen. "Sharpay, I really don't know what to say. What Gabriella said is true, you know. I want to help you. Everyone does. You don't let us in. Ryan, your own brother, has been reduced to tears because he knows he hurt you more. Gabriella's tried her hardest to accept you for who you are, but it's hard when you're so cold to her. Zeke stopped trying after he realized you dated him just for his cooking."

I tried to smile and lighten the mood, but was unsuccessful. Instead, I asked the question I'd wanted to know the answer to for a while. "And you? You stopped trying when?"

"The same time you did." He glanced at me one more time before leaving me standing in the large theater alone.

* * *

The day finally ended and I find myself sitting in my room wondering how everything could fall apart this fast. Ryan was still mad at me and wouldn't even look at me. Gabriella's tear-stained face now haunts my mind. Troy walked around the school like a zombie, not really paying attention to anything going on. It hurts a little knowing I've caused so much pain. For the rest of the day, I fully adopted my Ice Queen persona. If everyone, including my brother, doesn't have any faith in the kind Sharpay, she could just disappear into the distance. I'm done trying to get what I want. The only thing I've ever wanted has been right in front of me all along and I've been too proud to accept it. Now that he feels the same way, there's always something or someone in the way. 

I grab my journal out of its hiding place and begin to write in it again.

_Dear Diary,_

_Is it possible for someone to have the best day ever and then fall so fast no one bothers to catch you? Well, I'm guess it is possible because that's exactly how I'd describe these past two days. Troy's been trying to get me back the past few days, but I keep pushing him away. Ryan is mad at me because I accidentally snapped at him. The play is in serious danger because all the main characters are mad at each other. Troy and Gabriella have officially broken up. They aren't even close to friends anymore. Tension is extremely high everywhere I go. My mom left when Ryan and I began screaming at each other. Nothing is going right anymore and it's all because of me. If I had never sung that song...Troy wouldn't have rediscovered his feelings for me. Everyone else would be happy. Now I'm just the Ice Queen again. I don't know what to do anymore! It's all so messed up. Troy doesn't even care about me anymore. It passed so quickly. I started off avoiding him today, but during play practice I couldn't ignore him anymore. He was so supportive at first, but when Gabriella started yelling at me he just agreed with her. When did everything become like a mini soap opera? I'm done crying about all of it. If they want me to be the Ice Queen, then that's exactly what I'll be._

_Love, Sharpay xoxo_

After setting my journal aside, I finally let my emotional barriers down. Tears began flowing freely down my face. Silently, I made my way over to my bed and set my head down. Whispering to myself, I promised to never let anyone see me cry again. They wouldn't hurt me if they didn't know it affected me so much. I firmly believe that. Slowly, I drifted off to sleep.


End file.
